This morning I went on a run organized by a local running club. Yesterday I sent the organizer guy an e-mail telling him that after looking over the details, I was not going to participate - since the slowest group was going to be running at my fastest pace, and I didn't want to get discouraged. He assured me that I would be fine, not to worry, they would be slow, and to come out... so I did.
At the two mile point, I was running alone. All alone. Crying. Pitifully crying. Watching everyone leave me was so disheartening - I can't begin to tell you. I could tell you the childhood issues this triggers, but then I would sound like a slow nutcase. Not just a slow old woman. A slow nutcase old woman. Okay, I will tell you anyway - I am the youngest of five - all my childhood, I watched them all be able to do things I couldn't... run faster, go places, etc. and leave me behind. And so it happens again...
I decided not to extend my misery by running the 6 miles I intended... so I turned around at 2 miles. A lovely woman who had introduced herself at the beginning of the run turned around and ran back to the water stop to see how I was doing. When I told her (sobbing like a small child) she said she would go back with me. She ran with me at the slow 11:55 pace I was running this morning, and we talked and ran together. Thank God for angels like Lana. What an act of unselfishness. Thank you to Lana and all the other angels who are so kind.
I did get to talk with a couple of middle-aged female marathoners after the run. They were very encouraging. After I left I considered the fact that I had joined with people who are in a running club. They are probably fast runners. I am slow, I know I am slow. I just need to get over it.
It is 2 weeks until the race. I just have to get my attitude back.
10 comments:
There are many a day when I run 11:55 min/mile or slower...I will probably ran that at my olympic triathlon in a few weeks...all alone...and finish last. I feel your pain.
That was pretty crapy of the people in the running club...
Thanks for stopping by my blog...
At least someone in the group had the good sense to turn around with you. There are different groups and clubs out there so you kind of have to shop around. Some are about helping each other and getting better together. Some are just groups who spend all their time trying to outdo each other. When you find the right group, you will know it. Just don't give up, you are still far faster than the 99.99% of the population who is still parked on their butts watching American Idol.
Great job!
You guys are so great. Thank you so much for helping me to overcome the loser thing.
(((HUGS))) I ABSOLUTELY agree with Chad!! You are definitely faster than the 99% who are parked watching AI. And the fact is that you DID run with them, even against your judgment and there is something to say about that ;D I don't know who said it but "You're never a loser until you quit trying" and you're still doing this thing, right? ;)
I, too, agree with Chad. At the starting line last week, the starter reminded all of us that we were in a small, select group of amazing people, while most of the world was still in their jammies, sound asleep.
You rock! And so does Lana.
Focus..focus! You'll do great.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Glad to hear your run turned out ok. Looking forward to reading more out your training.
My heart goes out to you - that wasn't very good of the club to encourage you to come along and then leave you behind!
How lovely of the lady to come back, shame it wasn't a bit sooner.
Don't give up with the running club idea, even if you don't go back there. They really do offer encouragement - it's just finding the right one.
As everyone has said, you are still doing more than most of the population sat on their but just thinking about doing something.
Feel proud of yourself!
Hi! Just stumbled across your blog, and I wanted to note that I am from CO! Some of my family still reside there, including my stepmom and grandpa, so I visit often -- I love the area.
As per your running group: they suck.
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